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One Year Fire Anniversary

I can't believe it's been a year now since our lives changed. A year ago today, Kaili and I got a phone call from her sister telling us that our home was on fire. Everything is still so vivid and while I haven't really shared much about it since that day, I feel that a year later maybe it would be good to share in case you're interested.

At the time we received the call we were at my mother-in-law and father-in-law's house. I believe I was watching a webcam to view the cruise port in Port Everglades where my brother and sister-in-law were boarding Oasis of the Seas for their first cruise.

Kaili got the call and we panicked/froze in place. Then after a few seconds we rushed out the door and got in the car to head up to the house. About a minute later it smacked me in the face...everything is going to be gone and it probably already is. That's because we lived in a 27 foot camper and while they're a great option for cozy and frugal living, they are basically huge tinder boxes that go up in flames in a hurry. I'll never know exactly what caused the fire, though I have my suspicions and I'll never know where the flame started and how long it took to really go up, or whether I might have been able to put it out with our small fire extinguisher or not, but I'll forever be grateful that I wasn't inside when it happened because who knows how that might have played out. Maybe I would have been in the shower and not known until it was too late or maybe I'd have been asleep in the bed and been blocked from getting out. And I'm glad that Kaili hadn't gone up to the camper right after church like she had been planning.

The decision to live in a camper was one that took some time and wasn't arrived at lightly. I was always fascinated with the Tiny House movement but I'm not handy enough to build my own and the ones that are professionally built seem to be pretty expensive. After we went to the Tulsa boat and RV show we came away thinking that a camper could be a viable option. The appeal was that we could own it, it would cost much less than rent if we put it on someone's property, and with it being small it would force us to carefully consider each and every item we allowed into our lives and in doing so, keep us from buying stuff all the time.

After looking at all that Craigslist had to offer we found one we loved, took out $6,500 cash, and drove 2 hours to go pick it up. It would be our first home once we got married on May 23rd, 2015.

It wasn't perfect by any stretch. There was some wood that was water damaged, mice found their way in somehow and made us appreciate sticky traps after a few nights of terror that was exponentially greater than the size of the source, and it was either really hot in the summer or cold in the winter, but I can't tell you how much we loved our little "Homper" (Home/Camper).

We retrofitted the back quarter of it to be a pretty nice little closet, upgraded the shower head from one that was basically a trickle to one that had pressure and actually made it enjoyable, and we learned how to cook nice little meals in our micro-sized kitchen/living room. It was truly home for us, our own little space, and while we saw so many of our peers buying nice looking modern brick homes, we felt like it was enough for us.

Quite honestly, camper living was in large part a reaction to student debt for us. We had a great undergrad experience but had to take on a lot of debt to have that experience. Rather than complain, we felt like we could do something radically different to try to swing the pendulum back in the right direction. We felt like it was a good plan.

Our plans went out of the window on December 18th, 2016. I guess up in flames would make more sense though right? (*Please Laugh*)

As soon as we got to the highway we looked north and saw a huge billow of black smoke filling the sky. I knew there would likely be nothing left by the time we got there. When we arrived at the property where Kaili's grandparents also lived, there was a police officer on the scene to keep everyone a safe distance away until the firefighters arrived to take over and there was so much smoke all around. We could see the camper over the top of the wooden fence that surrounded the property and it was already burned halfway down the aluminum walls. There was no saving anything, no playing out the scenario we all talk about of "what's the one thing you would grab to take with you if your house was on fire."

In a matter of minutes the flames reached the roof of the house and now saving it was the firefighters priority. Unfortunately it was one of the coldest days of the winter and the ground was frozen so the hydrants didn't work. The trucks had some water in their reservoir but not enough to aggressively attack the flames. They had to wait for tankards of water to arrive to a rural location. It soon became apparent that the house was at major risk of being a total loss. We walked over to a car on the street that belonged to a neighbor and we talked to Kaili's grandmother who told us that their cat was still in the house. Kaili wanted to run to the back door to open it and let him out but I was concerned about the gas tank exploding or her being injured and I wasn't feeling particularly heroic in that moment so I just kept her from being. The risk wasn't worth it. I had just lost every item I owned except for what was on me and in my car, I wasn't willing to lose the most important person in my life for the cat.

This all happened in a matter of moments but feels like an eternity when I'm recalling it. When fighting a fire the brave firefighters aren't dealing in hours, they're dealing in seconds and minutes, and despite many of them being volunteers for rural departments, meaning many of them had been called into action while having Sunday lunch with their families after church, they were doing everything in their power to contain the fire and get it under control.

Unfortunately the house was a total loss. The flames spread along the ceiling and they couldn't get enough water to it.

I won't go on and on about the minutia of the fire much longer because I want to cover what happened after, but I will say that there are a few things we experienced that maybe are interesting to you because you would never know it without it happening to you.

The first is that the firefighters are predictably incredible. As I said, these were mainly volunteers from rural departments, on an incredibly cold day. They are putting themselves at risk to save the house. The whole time I was witnessing the fire, we kept reminding ourselves "we've just lost everything but it's just stuff and we still have each other," yet these men and women were risking themselves when the house just contained stuff. After the flames were finally out they would go in repeatedly to retrieve whatever items they could manage and bring them out to the garage. They don't know what's important to you but in their minds they figure maybe they'll come out with an item or two that will bring you some comfort (since we lived in the camper we didn't get any comfort items unfortunately. In the days that would follow we would find things that were ruined but at least recognizable).

The second is that Red Cross is important. I know that we always think of them in times of crisis but until I experienced it firsthand I didn't understand. We were met by a volunteer with the local Red Cross who had us fill out a report and explained how we might go about handling the rebuilding of our lives in the days that would follow. They gave us care kits with some basic toiletries and a toothbrush (the worst toothbrush you'd ever know could exist but they have to make their budget stretch), a stuffed teddy bear, and a white fleece blanket with the Red Cross logo all over it (scratchy and more like something you would wrap furniture in when moving than a soft blanket you would want, but it brought us warmth in that moment and we were so grateful for it), and finally a Visa gift card that was loaded with a few hundred dollars for the purpose of either getting a hotel for a couple nights or buying some things like clothing.

The third thing is that the news crews are amazing at responding. There were tripods with cameras and news reporters on location before the flames were even out. I'll be honest, I know it's their job, but for every bit of good that the firefighters and Red Cross did, seeing the news crews there felt really harmful. While your life is falling apart, it stings to know that there might be people sitting at home watching it on their TV like it's basically an action movie.

So what followed?

We moved into my mother-in-law and father-in-law's house, sleeping in Kaili's old bedroom on her full size bed. We shared a bathroom with her grandparents who moved into the guest room. It was very close quarters, and we didn't know how long it would be like that. It ended up being almost a year.

There were a lot of tears shed for the first week, but personally the direct experience of the event ran its course for me pretty quickly. The first day was just shock and a feeling of powerlessness. The second day was coming back to reality and trying to accept that it really happened. The third day I went up to the property and we tried to dig in the debris to find anything salvageable (no real luck) and I found my favorite old t-shirt, burned up and soaking wet. I held it up and had Kaili take a picture of me as I smiled wide and laughed. I decided that since I couldn't take back what happened, I wasn't going to let it steal all my joy (even if it took quite a bit of it).

The next day I went back to work. I was ready and needed to have some sense of normalcy if I could. I can't begin to tell you how incredibly fortunate I am to work where I do. The people I work with are second to none. Shortly after arriving at the scene that day, I called my boss Aaron and fought back tears so I could ask him if it was okay if I wasn't at work the next morning because my house was on fire. He asked what we needed. I told him I didn't know, but that I didn't have any clothes for work now. He lives probably 45 minutes away and yet in what seemed like less than an hour he and his wife Ashley had gone to Kohl's, purchased a gift card with what I considered to be a way too generous amount of money on it, and brought it to us there in the shadows of the smoke. It allowed Kaili and I to buy a good number of nice items to wear (shoutout Kohl's clearance racks!) and gave us a little spark as we started to figure out what to do.

My first day at work started out with tears. The owner of the company (I won't mention his name because I doubt he would want credit for anything) told me that he heard that Kaili needed a laptop to finish her studies at nursing school so he wanted to give me one of his MacBook Air laptops (I wrapped it and gave it to her for Christmas a few days later) and he handed me a personal check that made a huge difference for us and her grandparents. I also saw a poster in a couple places around the building with a GoFundMe link that Aaron had set up. Many of you who are reading this gave and I didn't have the chance to properly thank you all. I will tell you that the amount of money that came in was so helpful in getting us all back on our feet but it was the number of people who participated in helping us that was most impactful. It would have been so easy to feel alone in the world dealing with this event but you all wouldn't let that happen and it made a huge difference.

We're a year removed from what felt like the end of our world. Kaili became a registered nurse and has been working at Hillcrest Hospital and we moved into a rental house nearby about a month ago and are getting our lives a little more figured out and rebuilt. We still don't have a whole bunch of stuff, but we have everything we need and most importantly, we still have each other to walk through this crazy journey with. The house was leveled and cleared away along with the camper, and only the garage remains.

I still miss our little tiny home, and I regret that we never really took pictures of it, but I'll always think back on our time living there with fondness. A year ago I didn't know if we would be okay, but we made it through one year and I'm glad for life.

Nazarene All-Star Game

I don't write these days. Academia is in the rear view mirror for me and as I continue driving without stopping to get out and stretch I find myself missing it less and less.

But I miss the carved out times and places for thinking that it afforded me.

When I first graduated I tried to force it, to write just to write and hope I found some inspiration once in awhile. I'm not convinced that was a bad practice but in the now nearly six years since I graduated from SNU I've learned a super valuable lesson.

Silence can be an incredibly valuable form of communication.

It's a lesson I'm sure my elders not only knew, but knew I couldn't learn it without putting my foot in my mouth a few too many times until I finally tasted the sweaty fungus tasting broth that my words had brewed. Full disclosure, I still put my foot in my mouth pretty often, but at least I realize much quicker that I've said too much.

In college especially I found myself lost in the allure of drawing hard lines in the sand and then blow harding until I was blue in the face about why being on my side of the line was better than the other. I was wrong plenty, but even when I was right, I was just a jerk a lot of the time.

Us versus Them. That was my way of life, and unfortunately it's become the way of society. Social media makes it too easy to get our opinion out there on anything, including things we don't know much about. It's an infection that is spreading under the surface and attacking our cells at a molecular level.

Silence is sometimes the best way to speak to an issue. But I feel like right now I have something I need to say and I hope you'll bare with me. It's been awhile since I tried to articulate my thoughts this much so this might be a little disjointed or seemingly chaotic.

I grew up Nazarene in a church full of welcoming and kind people. They were very much living with a mentality of "come just as you are." I felt accepted despite not being churched until I started attending in middle school. Despite having doubts about some scripture, despite being a little rough around the edges. That church loved me, they still do. I felt like I always had a home there.

With ONE exception. I never felt welcome to be myself when it came to politics.

I was raised by two parents who more often than not aligned themselves with the Democratic party. They viewed social programs as necessary for some people to get through rough patches. Are there problems with some of those programs? Absolutely. Do some people abuse the system? Absolutely. Do some people find themselves stuck in a life of constant dependence on that assistance? Absolutely. Do some people need that help to get by?

My family did.

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We didn't have a lot of money. They worked as hard as they could. Dad went to work while mom stayed home and tried to teach us from birth through school, trying to give us a head start on school (I'm a first generation college student so it paid off). I'm the oldest of 5 children. Money gets tight when you're feeding 7 mouths and when God blessed our family with twins I can't tell you how excited we all were for not getting just one baby in the house but two at the same time! But having two babies at the same time is expensive. There's no hand me downs and twice as much formula, diapers, etc. My parents were beneficiaries of WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) a government assistance program that helps families with their grocery provisions. In school we also received a lunch card under a program that provided free and reduced lunches based on family income and size. For $2 a week I could get the lunch in the cafeteria every day. Try making a full lunch for $0.40. It was a good deal and subsidized by the rest of the tax payers in the district who weren't receiving free and reduced lunches. Mom still gave me money so I could buy pizza on pizza day or go get the plate of french fries that cost extra. When you're in high school you can be selfish and not think about things like how complicated adult life might be for your parents who are maintaining a household of 5 growing kids, kids who were always wanting to keep up with their peers when it came to clothes, toys, and activities.

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In my church there were only a few families that were made up of people who were Democrats, at least who weren't hiding that they were. "Liberal" was a nasty word that carried with it an image of someone who was viewed as being perhaps "more sinful" than a conservative for lack of a better way of putting it. The Democratic party was identified almost exclusively by a pro-abortion and pro-same-sex marriage stance. In the Church that hasn't really changed has it?

For a long time I found myself in groups where people weren't afraid to tout themselves as Republican and either assumed there were no "liberals" among them they might offend with their words or didn't care. It was very easy to want to closet that part of who I identify myself as. It gave me a reference point that helped me empathize with the homosexual community despite not having a good understanding or exposure to them. I knew it must be even harder for them to be made to feel on the fringes of that micro-society.

What that did to me was make me defensive over time. I found myself arguing on everything, wanting to push back against the opposition and keep them from encroaching over my line in the sand. I figured if I gave an inch they would never give it back. They would move the line and continue to do it every time. I argued out of fear and anger, not a quest for truth.

This past election season was brutal. From the perspective of a Democrat the prospects weren't terribly encouraging. You had Bernie Sanders who I was personally a supporter of but who didn't stand a good chance of being elected because he was a self-labeled "democratic socialist" which was worse than a "liberal" to many, including some Democrats. Then there was Hillary Clinton who has the personality of a jagged rock and despite considerable political experience has had plenty of missteps. And then there were a few other people who were basically fillers and I can't think of their names because they were never going to stand a chance of becoming a President.

On the Republican side it was also a mess. You had Ben Carson who seemed like he had self-performed a lobotomy that rendered him in a perpetual state of relaxation, Mike Huckabee who went from a seemingly genuine and likable Christian man to an insecure kid at the lunch table who was trying to say vile things for shock value to fit in with his bully classmates, and then Ted Cruz and Donald Trump who seemed dead set on exuding a personality of old school American machismo.

John Kasich, who has gotten some good things done in my former home state of Ohio because of his ability to work across the aisle would have gotten my vote over any of the Democratic candidates because I firmly believed he was a man of integrity who was more concerned about doing what was right than whatever the opposing party didn't want him to do.

.......He never stood a chance.

This is the point I want to make with this post. That we as a society are no longer about what is best for our world as a whole but what our side of the line in the sand wants. Much like a sports fan we rally behind our team and want blood. Partisanship reigns today, even in the Church.

And I'm guilty of it.

After the election I admit I struggled. My foot was firmly in my mouth. I viewed (and still view) President Trump as a threat to human decency. In a game of partisan campaigning where both parties tried to demonize the other, Donald Trump was Michael Jordan. Bernie and Hillary tried to play the game but they weren't as good at tapping into the addiction that WE as a society have of being right.

Where I made my mistake was in unfairly categorizing all Trump voters as embodiments of all of his worst attributes instead of the best attributes of conservatism. I wanted to draw my line in the sand and fight. Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, etc. None of those things should identify us as much as American.

Maybe we should all be like NBA basketball players. In the days of Magic Johnson and Larry Bird, of Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley, basketball players didn't like each other most of the time. It was war. You were for your team and nobody else. Today that game is much different. Opposing players are friends who give each other hugs and handshakes before and after the game. Maybe you're a member of the Oklahoma City Thunder, Houston Rockets, Boston Celtics, etc. but you're a member of the National Basketball Association first and foremost. When a player gets a new record high salary the rest of the league celebrates because it means the players are pushing the ceiling higher for future generations. Look at how much money Michael Jordan was paid as a member of the Chicago Bulls and then compare it to the salaries of today. The players battle it out against each other but every year they come together around the middle of the season and play an All-Star game.

It's a friendly exhibition where guys don't play much defense and they all just have fun showing the world what they can do. It drives a lot of people crazy and this year was no different. Both teams played no defense and the score was through the roof. I couldn't help but think that the extra attention that was being paid to how "bad" this game was this year might be in part because we're growing increasingly combative politically and in every facet of our lives.

Politics weren't always a year round obsession. I'm young but from what I understand, politics didn't consume our daily lives like they seem to these days. We didn't constantly remind ourselves of our differences and let those things divide us. We found reasons to identify with each other. We may have been on different teams during election season but we got back together after it was over and focused on being Americans and wanting what was best for America regardless of who came up with the idea.

I wish I could have that world these days.

My denomination used to be this way too. The Church of the Nazarene was formed reluctantly by a group of men and women who found themselves clinging to their previous denominations on the fringes. They came from different regions and doctrines on a variety of subjects. Unlike many of us today, they focused on what made them the same. They called those things the "essentials of the faith" and it was that list of things that they clung to, likely tightest when they found themselves tempted to want to make mountains out of mole hills when it came to the things they didn't agree on. It was a denomination founded on holiness and compromise and humility. Nobody had everything figured out, just the super important stuff.

Learning about the origins of the denomination I grew up in while at SNU, I didn't recognize it from my experiences with it. Realize I'm talking about myself here too. I'm a Nazarene. We aren't (and haven't been) very good at compromise for awhile. Well intentioned legalism creeped into the denomination before I ever joined it and over time the list of "essentials" seemingly has grown (at least in practice) while the list of "non-essentials" is far more limited than it ever was.

Today many of us in the Church are focused on drawing lines in the sand. We focus on our differences and the things we're against rather than the fact that we are unified in Christ and the things Christ was for.

Maybe it's time we set some time aside from our regular combative activities and remember we're all a part of the same community.

Steep Climbs and Head Wind: Life beyond the bike and blessings unimaginable

Boy has it been a long time since I've taken to this blog. Part of me is conflicted about even doing so as I used to think that this page should just be reserved for a bike ride I went on once. I'm coming to realize however, that a bike ride isn't really all that I may have hoped it to be or as interesting as others tell me they imagine it to be.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that the ride from Times Square to Florence, Oregon was something much bigger than I am. It was a rite of passage of sorts, a test of my will that proved to me that you really can eat an elephant if you take it one bite at a time. Still I understood very early on that a ride like the one I did shouldn't really inflate an ego so much as humble it. Countless days I found myself worn down by hills that looked barely like any kind of incline. I grew frustrated by something as small as which patch of ground to sleep on. The ride showed me the best in me, but just as clearly, the worst I have to offer as a young man.

But when that ride concluded there on the cold sand of a foggy beach, there was no feeling of finality. For the ride perhaps, but not the adventurous life that I knew I had become indoctrinated into by it. The truth is that as I sat on that train from Portland back to Cleveland, my mind was spinning as it processed the completion of one dream and beginning of the next.

To understand that dream, I have to share with you one of the most central themes of the bike ride that you may or may not have been aware of. From the very outset, there was one rider who didn't make the journey physically but who I took with me every inch of the way.

We met in 2010 at school on a softball field during an intramural game played on a cold night in Bethany, OK. When I graduated we had been dating a year and as I stepped out into the unknown of life after college, I knew I wanted to find a way to make life be with her.

There were times when my riding companion would tell me that he was so glad he was single because of the freedom it brought, the ability to do whatever he wanted without regard for the needs of anyone else. I understood what he was saying, but never agreed. Every day I pedaled as hard as I could so that I could possibly find a McDonalds or somewhere else with wifi so I could call her. I knew that there wasn't a day of the trip that I woudn't have gladly traded him in for her, to be able to share in an adventure together. Each incredible sunset out on the plains, I wished she was there. Every steep descent as I zipped around turns and twists with the wind in my face and a smile of a child, I wished she was feeling the same with me. As I crested Togwotee Pass and saw the silhouette of that beautiful mountain range shrouded in clouds in the distance, I knew it was special, but I felt I was missing out in not having her beside me to see it together. And as I set foot in that sand I couldn't help but feel that the next destination to shoot for was wherever we could be together.

I had no idea it would take me two years to get there.

The next chapter in my journey was a true test. I youth pastored at a small church in Cleveland, OH where I fell in love with a small handful of people and teens, trying to seek out God with them each week. It proved to be a year with blessings but also trials as I'm sure all years are. In the end I couldn't handle the financial strain of paying student loans on my salary along with the emotional abuse that came from a small minority. I was afforded an opportunity to begin a one year training program in human resources with a large corporation that would instantly double my salary and allow me to be the kind of provider (or at least not a burden) that I felt she deserved for me to be. I went in excited and figured that by the end of the year we would get married and be together forever. I sometimes live in a fantasy world where I don't account for real life.

The next nine months were again a mixed bag, which is part of life, but I found myself wondering if I was really doing what I was supposed to be doing. The paycheck every other week had become my only real motivator and life as a trainee was lonely as I was relocated every few months to a new place where I didn't know anyone and everyone knew I was only going to be there for a short time anyway. Much like I had questioned whether the bike trip was worth all the other opportunities I had to give up during those months, I wondered if making money was worth not being where I wanted to be.

Our visits were few and far between. Leading into Easter I had been sent from Chicago to Detroit for a week and on Good Friday I decided to use it as a travel day but instead of returning to Chicago I made straight away for Tulsa, OK. After 14 hours of driving without tipping off that I was in a car, I arrived in Owasso, OK where she worked and booked a hotel room for the night. The next morning I got a haircut and headed to a florist to get her some flowers which I slipped under the windshield wipers of her car before hiding in my car across the parking lot at the bank she works at.

Another visit came for a friend's wedding in August. Having not been included as a groomsmen I probably wouldn't have spent the money on a plane ticket and just passed along a gift and congratulations but an excuse to see her for a few days was all I needed to justify it. Other than walking up with her to receive communion from the newlyweds, I never spoke to them but got a few days to be with my best friend.

By November we had grown tired. After an initial year away from each other I had followed it with another 9 months all so I could make enough money to think that I was okay to start a life with, but our lives had been running parallel for so long that it was difficult to see them ever intersecting again. The weekend of my birthday (November 17th) she came up for a visit to spend it with me. We explored Chicago the first day, drove to Niagara Falls the second day and then on to my parents' house after a pit stop for a surprise dinner with one of her best friends along the way, and finally back to Kalamazoo, MI for a dinner at my apartment, limo ride to Grand Rapids, and Melting Pot for dessert. On Monday I took her back to Chicago for her flight back home but I wished more than ever that she wouldn't get on the plane or that I could get on it with her.

On the way back from Chicago to Kalamazoo I got a phone call for a job offer. It was a temporary position that paid less and offered no benefits, but it sounded perfect because it was in Tulsa. I accepted on the spot and the next day I was on a conference call to resign to my boss at corporate headquarters. I spent the rest of the week packing up my apartment and on Friday my mom and sister picked me up and took me back to Bedford where I loaded up my rusty car with whatever I could and headed to Collinsville, OK where I got in at 3am after stopping at Walmart to get the best flowers I could find at that hour.

I've been living in Oklahoma for a month now and as I reflect on this year I can safely say that 2013 was a pivotal one for me. I learned a lot about myself, the shortcomings of being a person trying to make it in this world, but the blessings in giving over those failings and being happy in God. I don't have a lot of money. I drive a rusty car that's just under 200,000 miles on it. I have more student loan debt than I know what to do with and I have no idea what I'm good enough at to do for the rest of my life.

And I've never been happier. I have the love of a woman who makes the bad days bearable, the good days great, and the great days incredible. And so although I know a huge hill stands in front of me, and probably a long stretch of plains with insane head wind, this time I have her beside me and that makes all the difference.

I pray God blesses your lives in ways unimaginable this year. Make 2014 be a year lived boldly for others and let them pour love back in to you.

Blessings,
Matt

After Trip Thoughts: Final Spokes4or Post Ever (You're Welcome)

Long before I ever began this trip I had done research about gear and things I might need to know about before going on a tour. Much of what I learned was from a site called crazyguyonabike.com where people post journals of their trips, write on forums about a multitude of topics related to bicycle touring, and even sell their used gear. It's a simplistic version of facebook for this niche market in my opinion and much of what I knew prior to going on the trip I learned from this site and the kind people who post on it.

One of the things I learned from others is that there is often a moment when the "itch" creeps back in to a cyclist's mind upon finishing a trip. For some this can happen almost right away while others go years before getting the urge to ride again in this capacity. Personally, for me, the moment I reached the beach in Florence, Oregon I loathed riding a bicycle. I couldn't wait to join civilian life again and after a few days with our friend Chris who lives in Portland, I packed the bike in a box and loaded it on to a train headed to Cleveland by way of Chicago. The ride was fantastic, albeit long. I had the opportunity to meet a man from Whitefish, Montana who was a joy to talk to and taught me how to make baskets out of wire and beer bottle caps. After his stop I sat by myself most of the time so I took the time to read a book called Jesus For President by Shane Claiborne (a little out there for me, but worth a look). On top of that I enjoyed sitting in the observation car chatting with elderly people and taking pictures. It was really kind of eye opening to be tracking back through what I had just done by bicycle. The route was a bit different as we rode through Montana and North Dakota instead of Wyoming and South Dakota but when we reached Minnesota and Wisconsin I was back in many of the places that we had ridden through a month before. This did two things: brought a realization of how far I had ridden; made that distance seem much smaller on an effortless train ride.

By the time I had reached Cleveland I was tired and ready to be home, but I knew it would be different. I was different.

I no longer was the super neat freak who used to shower twice a day and my facial hair had been growing out the entire trip as part of an agreement with my brother (a far cry from having to shave everyday while working at Mama Roja to fund the trip). When I left Bedford, OH in May in a rental car for NYC I was a much more stressful version of myself. I used to concern myself with all sorts of small details but after two months my life had become much simpler.

Wake up (whenever the sun tells you to or body decides to).

Ride (and get used to the soreness of sitting on a saddle...every day).

Eat something (anything and as much as possible, with coffee preferably).

Ride (and complain about the soreness of sitting on a saddle).

Eat something else at a restaurant and take a mini bath in the restroom sink/brush teeth (a full breakfast if possible, and if not a calorie laden burger and fries).

Ride (and fall way behind Jared's weightless self).

Think to myself.

Stop and eat (either snacks from my pack or at a fast food joint).

Find a place to sleep and pray there's access to a shower.

Sleep (usually after not having the opportunity to take a shower).

Repeat.

Of course life wasn't really just this, but that's primarily what a day looked like with some picture taking mixed in. I really just had to find food, a place to sleep, and ride a bicycle. Those were my objectives and I liked it that way. I always had a purpose each morning, to get to the next place, and yet I was always on a new stretch of pavement so things were always exciting. I never knew what was ahead of me around the corner. Could be a huge uphill climb or a downhill drop, maybe even a waterfall or beautiful river view, perhaps even a bear. It was this constant awareness that the next moment could bring about just about anything that made this trip so unbelievable. There were wacky moments all along this journey as you have read about in either my journal or Jared's, and they defined the trip, and yet never ceased to amaze us.

But life after the trip has not been so simple. As I sit here writing this post I find myself facing what was always inevitable. If you look back at my earliest posts you'll read that I was almost dreading my life after the trip long before we ever pedaled our first mile. I knew that the substantial student loan debt would be looming and that I probably wouldn't know what to do in that next stage. If only I could have placed a bet on those things coming true I might have erased the debts from my winnings (although in winning would I be wrong and thus lose? Strange paradox).

And here I sit. After finishing the ride I no longer had the thrill of what the next day would bring. Some of you might say that every day is an adventure, but that's a bit cliche in my opinion, or perhaps not. Either way I know that for me personally I have yet to experience adventure in the days following this trip. The "itch" found me a few weeks ago and as I read back through some of Jared's posts it took me back to a lifestyle that I truly loved and appreciate even more in hindsight. Before you think this post is too grim, understand that I am excited in many ways about what is to come. It is just a bit difficult for me because I find myself in a place that I rarely am in due to lacking appreciation for the present. Back in Grand Teton National Park I wrote a post about how I longed to have what so many of the people I met had. That never left me and I still am incredibly optimistic for those things to come in their own time.

That is just one of the lessons I learned on this trip. Another was that after you see a few snakes you are bound to think a lot of things are snakes. I learned this in Idaho when we would ride over dead snakes on the shoulder of the highways. They were everywhere, but after awhile we would see bungee cords or cell phone chargers and sticks. I kept thinking they all were snakes and I always approached them with caution. I think this metaphorically applies to real life without a doubt. I saw just how true that was when I met Norm in the town of Douglas, Wyoming. If you remember reading about Norm, the man was heartbreaking to talk to. He showed us hospitality in a city park that he was living in as a homeless man out of the back of his pickup truck, not a friend in the world save for his dogs. He had met too many people who hurt him and let him down in his life and before long he no longer trusted anyone. His goal was to live alone in backcountry Montana and no matter how badly Jared or I may have wanted to restore his faith in humanity we knew that we could only play a small part in the process, hoping that eventually he would stop seeing people as snakes.

Another lesson I learned was that we are truly small, completely dependent upon so many things. As a cyclist I knew that I could die at any moment. I could hit a rock going fast down a hill and land on my head. I could be run over by a motorist or be hit by the wrench that someone threw at me and thankfully missed. There were countless times that I ran out of water on the road, usually in the most desolate of places (on the way to Lusk, WY, and 30 miles short). When you're on a bike you are lowered on the food chain so to speak in that you are virtually powerless, but this applies to real life really well. Whether it's a woman in Plankinton, South Dakota who feels trapped in a place she doesn't love living in or a successful man approaching retirement who is longing for the trip of a lifetime, we all find ourselves at a loss for complete control over every aspect of our lives. Because every breath might be our last and we do not have a say in when our time comes, we are to some degree left to be reactionary in nature. We have free will in so much as we are able to make limited decisions. I cannot will myself to be a 6'10" basketball player or even to wake up for another day tomorrow, but I can respond to my circumstance to the best of my ability. So many times along this journey I met people who had at one time or another realized their limited power over life, but I admired each and every one of them because the people I met had responded by making lemonade out of lemons. We don't always get the dream we've had since we were children (I'll probably never be a professional baseball player) but the only person who can keep us from changing our dreams over time is ourselves.

I would like to say I learned a few more things about life, but those are some of the main things that left an impact on me. The journey was incredibly difficult at times. I often wanted to quit and feared I didn't have what it took either mentally, physically, or both. There were so many times that I was up a creek without a paddle, but in those times God always provided. God didn't always make my life easier, but just knowing I was never alone made it so much more tolerable. The bottom line, the words, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" came to life for me on this trip. An unexceptional person (overweight, underachieving) was able to accomplish something much bigger than himself. I never stopped being overweight or underachieving along the way and I think that speaks even more for how great God really is to get me through it.

As I look at my options for this next stage of my life (Navy, career, or grad school) I am somewhat fearful if I am to be honest. It feels like the biggest mountain pass I've yet to face, but God put people in my life to get over every hill I had to climb so far and I know I'm not alone on this one either. Perhaps the one thing that I never could get used to on this trip was that I so often met people along the way who made a great impact on me and with whom I connected so much with in such a short and fleeting moment. There are many people I will never hear from again but never forget. We are all just one big fragmented family here on earth and it will never cease to amaze me how beautiful people are when we invite them in to our lives and they invite us into theirs.

I can turn on any news channel and hear of all the brokenness and destruction in this world and sometimes it can be discouraging, but the bottom line is that this world is made up of beautiful people trying their best to live this fragile and wonderful thing called life. We are all interconnected by thin and delicate thread, all too often easily broken from unkind words or actions, but in the end I am truly grateful for being a microscopic piece in this beautiful tapestry we call the world. If there is one thing you take from my trip this summer I pray that this is the most lasting thing you read, that everyone we encounter has a story worth hearing no matter how upset we might get with them for cutting us off or messing up our latte or firing us from our jobs.

I urge us to love everyone, but this is easier to say than to do. Thankfully for a few college guys: Carson, Jared, Travis, and Matt, there were people who made the effort to reach out and trust us without any cause. It made all the difference.

Thank you. God bless. Keep in touch. Be a blessing to someone each chance you get.

Oregon: The End of a Journey

Leaving the Pastor and his wife was as difficult as leaving my brother in South Dakota but I knew I was hitting the home stretch of the trip as we would be in Oregon by the end of the day. The wind slowed us down fairly quickly and we hadn't put many miles in for the day before we decided to take lunch in the town of Caldwell, ID at a small restaurant called TNT's Dynamite Grill...Alright so I'm a big fan of AC/DC but even I was a little taken a back by the corny name of this place, but Jared wanted to try it so I decided to give it a whirl. When we walked in I fell in love. It's the perfect kind of little diner that I had grown to always long for in each town and it featured a counter top with bar stools which always gets a place bonus points in my eyes. We had a nice lunch and decided to splurge on a hand spun milkshake (always a good idea). I think what really did us in was the great conversation we were enjoying.

Alright, brief aside rant...McDonald's is a great place, I'll just say it. Along the way McDonald's provided a chance to wash up in a bathroom, charge phones, fill up water bottles with ice water, get a lot of calories for cheap, and drink as many refills on soft drinks as we wanted. We needed places like this along the way, but the diners were truly some of the best times we had.

We chatted with the old men sitting there next to us who come in every day and with the twin sisters who owned the place, and it was worth every penny. What was even better was that they didn't make us pay a single red cent! Now this wasn't the first time we had been treated to a free meal at a restaurant as back in the town of Marshall, MN and a coffee shop in Redwood Falls, MN. Still this place was a huge blessing to us because of the heart of the givers. They said that if pastors could give us a free place to stay that they could at least give us a meal. It was particularly warming to us because these were foul mouthed women who on more than one occasion expressed regret for saying things that they thought would offend us. I kept wondering how many people in the church have given these women the impression that they need to become perfect before they can set foot in a sanctuary because here they were feeling sorry in their own place where we were outsiders. I couldn't help but wish we could have made a greater impact in their lives to help heal some of the wounds that the church may have inflicted on them.

It was probably the first time that I was sad to leave a restaurant that wasn't an all-you-can-eat buffet, but we had a state border to cross and one more to push through ahead of us.

The border crossing into Oregon was one of the least ceremonial crossings of the trip as there was no state sign to take a picture with and upon entering the state we were not greeted by an absurd number of good coffee shops, hippies, or even a bike lane. We're in Oregon aren't we? This feels just like Idaho. The roads are lined with irrigation troughs that make use of aluminum tubes to spill out into the onion fields, but this was nothing new. Where is the rainforest that I envisioned this state being? We had a long way to go until we reached the stereotype I guess.

Our first night was spent in Vale, OR, a small town with not much there but they had all we needed, a Nazarene church willing to let us sleep inside and a diner. The church was pretty old but we were given the basement to sleep in with the added bonus of having "beds". Jared slept on a couch and I found a padded medical table in their youth room to be pretty comfortable. The youth room was like a picture of the 80's and 90's with posters for Ray Boltz and newcomer Steven Curtis Chapman. It also had a bumper sticker posted that said something to the affect of a condom being able to protect you from HIV, but not from Hell. It shouldn't surprise you that I decided to take care of this terrible message for them by confiscating the sticker.

We struck luck in Vale a second time when the pastor's wife told us that she owned the diner at the other side of town and that we could get whatever we wanted for free for breakfast. I'm not usually one to take full advantage of someone's hospitality but I decided that this was the perfect time to try the most expensive item on the menu so I ordered the ribeye and eggs. It was decent, but at the price of $0 you couldn't beat it.

Oregon in a nutshell is a lot more dry than I expected it to be. It also was surprisingly hilly as we climbed massive hills with no relief from the sun's harsh heat rays. Each drop of sweat that trickled into my eyes helped me push through as I was developing a love hate relationship with this state that was supposed to be so magnificent. In the town of Mitchell we went down to the only restaurant that was open and got to talk with some locals but aside from that I wasn't really enjoying this place all that much.

But then we hit the "town" of Ironside. I don't mean to make fun of Ironside because it was a great place, but in reality this was only several ranches that happened to be in the same area so calling it a town wouldn't be an accurate description. This was the kind of place that we would have never thought about stopping in because there were no businesses or anywhere we would think we could sleep, but as I was kneeling down on the side of the road working on my wheel because it was developing a wobble, a woman named Liz pulled up in a big pickup truck. She had driven past me and told Jared to wait for me because I was working on the bike and was coming back to check on me to see if I was alright. Then she went ahead of me to tell Jared to wait up and that I would be there shortly, but what I didn't know was that she was going to offer to let us stay with her and her husband at their ranch where they had a bunk house we could use.

Any guy in our riding group knows what I decided on in this case. Let's see, go further to a town where we won't have a house or stop short and be inside. Some people would want to get the miles but I'm not some people as each mile is never easy for me.

Fortunately Liz and Bob were a joy to spend time with. Liz is a horse veterinarian in Boise, ID and her husband Bob is a rancher who specializes in sheep, which he learned how to raise while growing up in New Zealand. They offered to have us in for dinner with them and while they prepared it we got to settle in to their bunk house which was more like a guest house than anything. I was half expecting to walk into a shack with a bunch of bunk beds where they housed migrant Mexican workers, but we were treated to our own beds made out of logs, a shower, and bear skin rugs. This was pretty swanky by our standards, and so was dinner. Liz made grilled chicken breasts, salad, and red skinned potatoes (or as Bob called them, spuds) that were picked from their garden right before dinner. After a night of great conversation we took them up on their offer to help ourselves to their hot tub which we sat in until well after 1am which is not late for me most of the time, but considering we were asleep before 10pm most nights on this trip it was really late. Still we enjoyed the relaxation and time to discuss important life matters like girls and what the world would be like if we didn't have to wear clothes.

The next morning we woke up to a nice breakfast with our new favorite couple before they had to head off to work. As the trip progressed I was starting to find it difficult to say goodbye to people we met more often.

After about a mile I got a flat tire which was awesome because Jared and I were running out of tubes again. We thought all of Oregon would have bike shops every five miles, but Oregon was more cowboy country than a hippy culture. We fixed the tire and pushed on...and up. Yeah there were a lot of hills on this day as Oregon quickly became a place of constant mountain passes. I'm not exaggerating about this as there were more mountain passes in Oregon than any other state save for Pennsylvania, but you can't really call those hills passes. Fortunately we were starting to see some trees. They were only aspens so the land was still dry, but it was some relief from the heat.

I still wasn't satisfied with this state, but then I came up over a pass leading into Prairie City and I finally realized why people would risk dysentery to get through this state (we had been riding on the Oregon Trail for a long time so it was always a fear that I would get it or have to wade through a river). It was perhaps the most fun downhill I had experienced up to this point of the trip as it was steep and yet still lasted a long time. This was also the first time we saw some snow capped mountains since leaving Wyoming so we knew we were getting into some less dry areas.

Prairie City was also a cool place for us because we met our first real Oregonian. I of course mean the generalization of an Oregonian that I had coming in to this trip which is someone who cares about the environment and rides a bicycle. Jim was an awesome guy and after sitting down for dinner at a local restaurant we decided to take him up on his offer to let us camp in his yard. After a short ride uphill to his home we set up camp and got to chat with him and his wife Karen about cycling. Turns out they are hoping to one day do a ride where they hit as many baseball games along the way as possible. This resonated with me enough to have a moment of regret for not thinking of the idea myself, but it was nice to talk with another friendly couple for the second night in a row. Oregon was quickly starting to challenge Minnesota for nicest state all trip, but this would be put to the test later on as we would witness road rage several times.

The next few days were spent riding through dry conditions that we had come to expect and we thought there might never be any relief from this climate. Then we hit Prineville, a town not far from the Cascades. While in Prineville we camped at the Nazarene church and decided to catch a movie at their local theater. Of course they weren't showing Captain America but Jared was desperate enough to want to see Cowboys and Aliens. I decided to not join him and find something better to do. Five minutes later, after having ridden around the town I came back to the theater because there was actually nothing better to do. Sadly the movie was every bit as bad as rottentomatoes.com had warned me, and even worse if you ask me. I had nightmares about how awful it was all night.

The next day we were setting our eyes on a short day to the town of Sisters. It wasn't going to be a hard day by any stretch of the imagination save for a few short and steep hills so we decided to stop in the town of Redmond at a coffee shop called the Green Plow. It was there that I had my first satisfactory Oregonian quality espresso which shouldn't have surprised me because they were roasters as well.

Jared decided to head on to Wal-Mart and I chose to push on to Sisters ahead of him so that we might make it to the town at the same time for a change. I actually ended up getting in about an hour before him because he left his Klean Kanteen at the coffee shop and had to double back to get it. I was glad for the opportunity to finally enjoy discovering a town first. This seems petty I'm sure, but when you get to a town first you get to be the one with the inside information when the other arrives. I had grown tired of always getting in to town and hearing about everything they had as soon as I arrived so on this rare occasion I made sure to get the full lay of the land so I could tell Jared all about it.

Sisters is one of those places I would like to own a home in one day. It's nestled right at the base of the Cascade range in a small touristy town. It felt a little like DuBois, WY in many ways but a bit more charming. After taking information for a $1.5 million home that was for sale I checked out all the town had to offer and recommended a Mexican restaurant to Jared when he got in.

The town of Sisters was a bit like DuBois in that we had no idea where we would sleep that night, but fortunately there was a national forest surrounding the town so we knew we were legally allowed to camp anywhere we wanted outside of town. We found a nice spot on a bed of pine needles and fell asleep in quiet which turned out be a blessing in disguise. The next morning we would have to climb our last major pass of the trip after breakfast.

That last climb would be McKenzie Pass which would prove to be relatively difficult. It started off very gradual for several miles and along the way we passed a young couple who were doing pretty much the same ride as us so we were feeling pretty confident in our abilities. Then a man who was riding a lightweight road bike came up to talk with us right before the hill became steep. Of course this meant that I would either fall way behind him and Jared or I would have to overexert myself. I chose the latter for pride's sake and was quickly winded and sucking down all of the water in my Camelbak. This concerned me a bit because we knew that on this particular day we would be pushing from Sisters to Springfield which was a long haul. We were told by Carson that there would be a nice long downhill for 20 some miles after the climb so that was encouraging, but in the back of my mind I questioned if this would actually be 20 miles or if there would be more climbs after. I was doubting whether we would make it all the way or not.

When we got to the top of the pass we met a man who was interested in our ride and as gesture of good will he gave us each an 8gb SD memory card which will probably last me the rest of my life so it was a pretty good day. The lookout tower at the top of the pass was made from lava rock which I thought was pretty cool and you could see Mount Hood way off in the distance so we knew we were somewhat close to being done.

As we started out down the hill we were quickly greeted by uphill stretches which was making me question my friendship with Carson. After about a half a mile we reached a point where the terrain seemed to be leveling off and I thought to myself, "man, what was Carson smoking that made him exaggerate the distance of the downhill that much?" Fortunately the level terrain was merely the distance across the length of the mountain range and we came to a point when we would get to go back down. For almost 25 miles we sped down switchback after switchback which was quite dangerous because it meant we were literally zig zagging down the mountain, going around sharp bank turns relatively fast despite squeezing our brakes as hard as possible. Along the way there were signs indicating the elevation every 100 feet you dropped and it amazed us how long it was taking us to drop so far.

After all that downhill we decided to stop for lunch at a restaurant where we ate overpriced burgers, but we didn't care because we were finally on the other side of the mountains and it finally felt like the lush Oregon we thought we would find. For the rest of the day we pushed pretty hard to make it to Springfield, a bustling suburb just out of Eugene. On the way we were treated to a ride along the river beneath shady trees with waterfalls lining the road. It was magical, very reminiscent of the Delaware Water Gap when we first entered Pennsylvania. I was thrilled, but the realist in me couldn't help but vocalize a bit of disappointment because after riding all the way to Oregon we were experiencing beauty, but it was all to similar to the beauty we experienced in the first week of the trip. Why hadn't we just stopped and rode all over Pennsylvania? I guess the payoff really isn't found in the beauty one gets to experience at either ends of the country on a ride like this, it's seeing that there is beauty in many forms all the way across (except South Dakota and Wyoming).

When we reached Springfield we were a little surprised to find that it was a bit on the city side, heavily populated and built up. It had the feel of an Illinois or New Jersey suburb in some ways, but that may have only been my perception as a result of having spent over a month in scarcely populated places from the time we left Rochester until now. Still Springfield was a place I was very happy to find myself in. I knew that just a week prior to our arrival at the Nazarene church Carson had spoken during their service after having completed his ride into the ocean so we knew were right on the doorstep of completion. After eating a dinner prepared for us by the church, we set up our tent on the lawn and drifted off to sleep, knowing full well that we only had tomorrow ahead of us.

What I didn't count on was that the distance from Springfield to Florence was still relatively significant. The church invited us inside for a shower and breakfast and prayed with us before we set off on our last daily journey. It didn't take us long to reach the city of Eugene which is large by all accounts and reminded me of how much I had come to loathe riding in cities despite their network of bicycle routes (they did us little good because we were unaware of how to navigate them). We made quick work of the place after a short ride to the Oregon football stadium where we took a series of pictures of us doing the O-H-I-O to demonstrate our lack of respect for their team as proud Buckeye fans. A brief stop at McDonald's allowed us to charge up our calories for the rest of the ride to the coast.

From Eugene to Florence I can't say I particularly enjoyed the ride. There were nice stretches leading into the coastal range but there was also so much more traffic than we were now used to. As we came upon a small town along the way I mentioned to Jared how much I wished there was a Dairy Queen somewhere up ahead. Not more than a minute and a half later we came to one. It was eerie and coincidental but we had to stop because it seemed like a divine appointment.

After our ice cream break it was nothing but riding. The coastal range had one more pass which was really just a short steep hill, reminiscent of any hill early in our trip, but the rest of the day was hilly nonetheless with long gradual inclines that we had to grind through. As we reached the last small town before Florence things got better with encouraging symbols of hope; a river on one side of us and railroad tracks on the other. Rivers are usually a sign of things being flat. This is not always the case as sometimes the road goes up and down drastically along the river (Snake River entering into Idaho was this way or Delaware Water Gap). Railroads however, are always at a gradual incline and this was the most encouraging part. The road along the river was almost completely level, but now in lieu of an absence of hills, the mind became my greatest obstacle, and a mountain at that.

I had tackled mountains along this trip that were far more physically strenuous than this last flat stretch of pavement. I had taken on some of the most boring stretches of land I have ever seen in Wyoming and South Dakota, and yet this last stretch of level pavement along a beautiful river with lush trees and mountains on each side was the most difficult mental test all trip. My greatest weakness was being aware of how much further I had left to go. Every ounce of my being wanted to take the foot off the accelerator and coast into the ocean on fumes. It's like running a race and seeing the finish line. You want to sprint and know you should, but your mind and body want you to just stop short of it instead of sprinting straight through it. For two months I had worked hard, earned spectacular views and experiences with pools of sweat (and in some cases blood). The bottom line is that I wanted to have things the easy way for just these last 15 miles. I rationalized it in my mind, "Matt, you only have 15 miles to go. That's how many miles it was to ride from school and around Lake Hefner and back. You've done that a hundred times without a problem." Yet each pedal stroke felt like I had never ridden a bike before. We reached 10 miles from Florence, "Matt, this is only a ride around Lake Overholser, a walk in the park." I wanted to trick my mind into thinking that the remaining miles were nothing, but while 10 or 15 miles was just a drop in the bucket compared to how many miles I had come, my legs had miles of wear and tear on them and my will to fight was not equaled by my body's strength.

As each mile slowly passed I started to have to stop more frequently to let the blood back into my legs, the oxygen back into my lungs, and most importantly, the feeling back in my butt. Fortunately Jared was willing to stick with me as on this day he had decided it was important that we both get to finish together and the road afforded us a generous enough shoulder that we were able to ride side by side the remaining miles, but just as friends despite what Jared may have hoped.

We were closing in on the town of Florence and were within just a few miles. That morning we got an early start because we had hoped to arrive at the beach during daylight for the best pictures possible. The trip wasn't really all about finishing and getting to the ocean, but I would be lying if I said that I hadn't day dreamed about the glorious moment of riding up over a ridge and seeing the ocean out in front of us. That moment had been playing in my mind ever since the first day when we left New York, and as much as I tried to keep it out of my head so I could focus on the present, not a day went by that I didn't think about it...

Unfortunately the moment that I had hoped for was not to be, and yet I was too tired to be upset. We would make the coast, but as we rode up the river we saw a thick layer of fog that seemed to be growing at a rapid pace. There would be no outrunning this fog as it had already overtaken the landscape in an eerie fashion. As we reached the town of Florence we could barely see the town limit sign just a few feet in front of us, and upon reaching the town we discovered that we would need to ride three more miles north to reach a beach access since there are sand dunes in the way when you first reach the town. Three miles felt like a hundred at this point. My mental wherewithal was all but dried up and were I not so tired I may have tried to climb over the sand dunes to reach the ocean without riding those extra miles, but sadly I knew we couldn't stop. There was the brief thought of just sleeping and riding those miles the next morning to the ocean when it would be clear out, but after two months of anticipation we were ready to bring about the conclusion of this adventure and wouldn't have been able to sleep had we tried putting it off until the next morning.

After riding those few miles we found ourselves winding through what appeared to be ocean front homes. They reminded me of the homes in Huntington Beach, California, the town that Jared and I went to every year for spring break. We hadn't been able to this year because with the trip approaching we realized that working that extra week might be the smarter thing to do. I'm glad we made the decision we did because now it had paid off. We were enjoying a coastal experience now with extravagant homes. The only differences were that it was really cold (my nose was running and I wanted a winter coat) and instead of palm trees there were evergreen trees on the properties.

Then we reached sand. In the moment our brains stopped working and as a result we decided to drag our bikes through the sand until we hit water. As we approached the shallow water washing over ice cold sand we began to frolic.

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There was no better word for it! I'm sorry, what do you want from me? I'm not proud to admit this, but in the moment I frolicked much like a child before that moment of lost innocence when a child starts to realize there are other people around them and they begin to care what those people think. My moment of lost innocence came relatively early in my youth. I remember it being probably around when I was ten. I once yelled like an idiot at professional sporting events, but now I couldn't show that enthusiasm or joy. That was my moment, and for years after I always envied those who didn't seem to care what others thought. The guys and girls who could dance and be goofy, typically those one might associate as being the popular kids. I never thought it would return.

But then on that cold and foggy day, a 23 year old stick in the mud from a small town in Ohio frolicked. He danced like a child and exclaimed how joyous an occasion this was. Thousands of people have ridden a bike across a country, it's not as rare or unique as most people think. Even more have set foot in the ocean, probably almost everybody in the United States I would venture to guess. In that moment I didn't care how trivial an act it was. I danced. I screamed. And then I rode my bicycle into the Pacific ocean.

And that ocean is cold! Geez you wouldn't believe how cold it really was. After standing in the water for just a couple minutes while Jared took pictures for me, I jumped out as fast as I could.

In May I graduated college. I was a first generation student and I understood that this accomplishment should have been a proud one, but in all honesty graduating college was not a big deal to me personally. I found no joy in that moment because it was not something I had long dreamed of, and yet we celebrated. We went out for lunch with friends and family. We took pictures with people we might never see again. We received cards with money and kind words.

But the most joyous moment of my life came in August. It happened on a quiet beach in Oregon on a cold and foggy day with only a few people around who I didn't know. The celebration was small in comparison. Instead of being congratulated by loved ones, we were told how incredible it was by a few elderly people who had just finished dinner at the hotel restaurant right on the beach. Instead of a dinner with all of our friends and family, it was just Jared and I, first at Taco Bell for appetizers and then Pizza Hut for the most elegant stuffed crust meat lovers pizza we had ever eaten. Instead of cards with money and kind words there were text messages. There was no ticker-tape parade held in our honor, just an open spot on a church's property reserved for our tent.

It wasn't the end to the trip I had always dreamed of. It was better.

Thank you for joining me. I told you we would make it eventually.

Idaho: You say potato, I say awesome!

Leaving the Tetons was more of a happy moment for me than I would have expected. Sure I loved how inspiring the mountains were and the place would be a great family vacation spot because it's not as crowded as Yellowstone to the north, but I never did feel welcomed in this place and so I rode away with a smile on my face. The coast was out in front of our noses with just a couple more states to go.

After leaving the mountains we were treated to a long stretch along the Snake River through Jackson Hole, WY and into Idaho. In Idaho Falls we were treated to a hotel room by Jared's grandfather. Idaho Falls was a pretty boring place mostly but our hotel room was huge and had a balcony that overlooked the man made waterfalls and Mormon temple so it made for a nice relaxing day to do nothing. I treated myself to Chili's bottomless soup and salad for lunch and got my money's worth for sure.

From there we hit the interstate and rode on the shoulder all the way to Boise. I'll keep my commentary brief on what happened in the state of Idaho but there were some things worth mentioning.

In the town of Pocatello we were allowed to camp outside of a Lutheran church. What the pastor failed to mention is that anywhere you see grass in the southern part of the state it is because of irrigation. We woke up at 2:30am to a flooding of sprinklers on our tent. My blackberry and camera were ruined and we had to sleep in soaking sleeping bags the rest of the night. To top it off the pastor arrived the next morning and said, "Oh, I was afraid that might happen. Anyway the church is open now so you can use the restroom if you want. There are some restaurants down in town where you can get breakfast." I never said a word to the man because I'm sure that if I had they would have been less than friendly after such a cold response to an event that did $600 in damages to my stuff. This is the reason you're reading about Idaho so long after I finished the trip because without my blackberry I was unable to post until I finished the trip.

Leaving Pocatello was as happy a moment as leaving the Tetons but the anger I had for the pastor kept me from wanting to leave until around 4pm. Still I was motivated and felt like I could ride all night and do as many miles as possible. What I didn't count on was that the highway would be pitch black and we would stumble into a stretch of construction that narrowed the interstate to two lanes making it a virtual death trap for us. Luckily God provided as a young couple coming back from a rafting trip stopped to see if we needed a ride into the next town. They even offered to let us camp outside of their yard and made sure to turn off their sprinklers. This would be the first of several times we would be offered a place to stay by random strangers. The trip was becoming more and more difficult mentally and emotionally, but God kept giving us little bits of encouragement in the midst of trouble.

Twin Falls, ID was a pretty cool place for us. We stayed at the Nazarene church in town and decided to ride to the mall and catch a movie. We wanted to see Captain America or Crazy, Stupid, Love but neither were playing there so we settled on Horrible Bosses. Just doing civilian things was a nice change of pace, but we were quickly reminded that we're cyclists when we went to Golden Corral and ate until we couldn't take any more abuse. The next morning as we set out to leave the town we stopped there again for breakfast and ate so much we couldn't talk because there was food all the way up our throats. After a brief stop at a travel information center above the canyon in town we were off for a nice scenic route down into, and through, the Snake River canyon. It was encouraging to get off the interstate and see some actual sites along the way and not take in exhaust fumes as much.

In Mountain Home, ID we joined the Nazarene congregation for worship on Sunday morning and enjoyed fellowship with them before heading off to Meridian, ID, a place I was very much looking forward to getting to.

Alright I'll admit it, my commentary on Idaho has been pretty boring. I wouldn't at all blame you if you stopped reading well before I'm saying this, but give me a break. To be honest most of our route through Idaho was so boring I wanted to fall asleep on my bike. Unfortunately the constant headwind was making it very difficult to do so and riding each mile was pretty miserable. It felt a lot like the parts of Wyoming that weren't mountainous. It got better when we hit Meridian.

Why would I be excited to reach a place I've never been to before? Well the first pastor I ever had growing up was currently the pastor of the church in the town of Meridian and I was looking forward to seeing a familiar face since it had been a long time since I last saw Ricky in South Dakota. Pastor Tim was a joy to spend time with for two theology students. Here we find ourselves invited in to stay with a man who was once the pastor of the Nazarene church in Kansas City, which is like Mecca for Nazarenes, and yet he was the example of humility, never speaking as if to know all the answers, and yet it seemed that we were learning more from him about how to be a pastor than we had in all four years of college, and we were. Our time at SNU was good for shaping us into theologians, but just two days with Pastor Tim and we felt so much more encouraged in our ability to handle being a young pastor who would inevitably make mistakes.

All the learning aside, our time in Meridian would have been great even without the formational conversations we were able to have with the pastor. We had our own rooms, a shower, good company, and to top it all off, the pastor spent his off day taking us out to McCall, ID, a small town tucked away between mountains with a beautiful lake surrounded by aspen trees. It was a remarkable place that we would have never been able to see without adding significant mileage to our trip, and in hindsight it would have been worth it. The white water along the drive was fascinating to me as it roared with a power that was humbling to me, knowing the river would swallow me up if I set foot in it.

Pastor Tim also took us to a Christian campground that the district now owns and is actively cultivating. Now we have some familiarity with Christian campgrounds, having even stayed in one back in Michigan on this trip, but this place was incredible! The cafeteria had high vaulted ceilings with a huge stone fireplace and views of the mountains surrounding. The coolest part about the campground is that it is being worked on by those in the district and people lend their talents and resources to improving this place. Seeing a district invest itself into a project like this is encouraging and made you wonder if there wasn't something in the water out here in Idaho that is making towns grow rapidly and churches thrive.

Pastor Tim and his wife Cindy cooked us the perfect cyclists meal of steak and veggies. I honestly wasn't sure I was going to be able to leave them, which is saying quite a bit because I wasn't overly in love with the geographical features of the state of Idaho, and yet the people create an excitement that draws you in.

The next day we would reach Vale, OR and stand only one state away from the ocean.